Hey Look, A Cat!
by Diniseni
Summary: Anise sees a rare species of cat. But then it disappears once Jade touches it, and she accuses Jade of using an arte to trick her... Well uh, no Anise, that's not it. Hehe...Heh heh...I can't help myself, putting Jade in these situations is hilarious.
1. Chesedonian Tiger Cat

Okay, so as it says in my profile, I woke up in the middle of the night on the couch one night, and the t.v. was still on. I wasn't all that tired, so I was thinking about playing ToA until I was, but then a Garfield commercial came on... Um, then this came into my head. So, Anise sees an extremely rare species of Chesedonian cat, but it leaps from her arms and lands in Jade's, then disappears. Anise then accuses Jade of using a fonic arte to conjure up a fake cat in order to trick her. Well uh, no, that's not it, um.... Well Jade himself doesn't even know what's going on... Heh... Heh heh I just can't help myself, it just seems so funny when you put Jade in these situations... Or Guy, but he's in a different story in the future, kinda like the sequel to this.

I don't own ToA. It belongs to Namco Bandai.

Read on!!

* * *

If they traveled fast enough, they were only going to have to sleep in the desert for one night on their way to the Zao ruins. Which was good, since all of Chesedonia was on the line. Either make it, or fall into the Qliphoph.

Although, it was not fated to go so smoothly, because where's the fun in that? All the authors in the world would die if they couldn't find a way to mix things up, per say.

"Hey!" Anise stopped dead just outside of the Oasis, where they had stopped in order to speak with Asch shortly. Everyone stopped and turned in the direction of her excited stare.

"What is it Anise?" Natalia asked.

"That!" she pointed to what appeared to be a small brown colored cat with red stripes, grooming itself in the shade of a palm tree. "That's a Chesedonian Tiger Cat!" she exclaimed. "They're so rare, we'd be richer than Luke if we caught one!"

"Wh-what?! Are you serious?!" Luke exclaimed. Guy sighed, knowing that Anise would not give up on catching that cat unless it somehow disappeared into thin air.

"Anise, I would not advise going after it. Chesedonian Tiger Cat's like to be left aone, other wise, you'll have a nasty little scar as your only memory of it." Jade warned.

"Don't worry about me Colonel! This is my kinda job!" Without paying heed to the warnings of Jade, she ran to the tree, stopping a few meters away to stoop down to her hands and knees. After pausing for a moment, she began crawling.

"I swear, that girl..." Natalia sighed.

"Well, if nothing else, she's the most determined out of all of us. Let's just see how this plays out..." Jade smiled as he watched Anise grow ever closer to the Tiger Cat. Most likely, at the speed she was going at, she would manage to at least grab the cat, since they were almost blind(or, they were thought to be. It was incredibly hard to gather any information on this species.), but it would most likely escaped from her, earning her only a cut of it's sharp claws. But, all in the sake of amusement, he didn't stop her. Warnings were sufficient...

"Colonel, aren't you going to stop her?" Tear asked. Jade just continued smiling replying with 'Well I did warn her.', making Tear sigh just as Guy did.

"Aha! I told you you didn't need to worry!" Anise grinned happily and held onto said cat tightly, she knew her cats, and she wasn't letting this one get away...

"Well, it appears I may have underestimated you Anise, well done." Jade said, though every one could hear the hint of sarcasm. "By the way, what do you plan to do now that you've caught this animal?"

"Boo, why do you always ruin my fun Colonel?" Anise puffed out her cheeks, a sure sign she was annoyed.

"Anise, you'd better be careful or-" Guy never finished his sentence as the cat suddenly moved so fast nobody was sure what happened. Anise was suddenly grasping her hand while hopping around yelling 'OW!!', and the cat was no longer in her hands. "It'll scratch you...."

"Hey! Where'd it go?" Luke looked around for the cat. "Jeez, it's pretty fast, you were right Jade-huh?" He turned around to face Jade, only to see him with a slightly confused expression, holding the Chesedonian Tiger Cat that Anise had failed to keep hold of.

Jade stared into the eyes of the cat, which were a deep amber, slit pupils staring straight back at him.

"Ah! Colonel, don't let it get away!" Anise exclaimed as Tear finished healing her wound.

"Anise," Jade sighed, leaving the cat's gaze for a second. "I don't believe it would be wise to-" Suddenly the cat stared to glow. "Hm?"

"What's going on?" Mieu covered his eyes. In another bright flash, the cat was gone, Jade's hand were empty.

"What just happened?" Tear asked, looking around, but there was no sign that there was any cat here.

"Oh! It's gone!" Anise puffed her cheeks out again. "You used a fonic arte didn't you?!" she approached Jade. "That was a fake cat, you were only trying to trick me!"

"Oh I assure you Anise, I've never come across any arte that can conjure fake Chesedonian Tiger Cat's since I've never even seen one myself." Jade shrugged. "How would I be able to do that? Do you really think me so skilled?"

"I don't know! We never know what's going on in your head!" Anise crossed her arms.

"Instead of standing here doing nothing, aren't we suppose to be heading to the Zao ruins?" Natalia interruped.

"Yes," Tear nodded. "We don't have much time, we need to hurry. Let's go."

Everyone nodded, heading east towards said ruins. "...You used a fonic arte..." Anise muttered as she walked past Jade.

* * *

As expected, they were making good time, despite their hold up in the Oasis due to a certain cat. They made camp as the sun dipped below the horizon, deciding to continue tomorrow.

It was Jade's turn to cook tonight. He stared at the ingredients laid out in front of him. He was planning on making some stew, or something of the sort(because I can't remember what dish needs tuna, so we'll go with tuna stew.). But the cooking had not yet commenced for one reason, and one reason alone. Tuna. Tuna. Tuna. Tuna. Why was he thinking so much about this tuna?! Jade wanted to kick himself, he was getting nothing done. For some strange reason, he had a sudden urge to eat that tuna... But he needed it to make their stew!

...What to do...?

* * *

Tear glanced over to where Jade was bent over the fire, supposedly making stew. But stew didn't usually take this long to make, had he made a mistake of some sort? "I'll be right back." She told Luke and Guy, who were sitting next to her. "It's unusual for him to take this long for cooking, I'll see if he's alright."

"He's probably think really hard about something." Luke shrugged. "You know Jade."

Tear nodded, then crossed the camp site to where Jade sat bent over the cooking fire. "Colonel, are you alright?"

"Hm?" Jade lifted his head, glancing around to Tear. Tear lifted a brow, he appeared to be chewing something... He swallowed. "Hello Tear, do you need something?"

"Er-no, I was just wondering what you were doing. You don't usually take this long to cook..." Tear's eyes found a small pile of what looked like... tuna. "Di-didn't we just restock on tuna in Chesedonia?"

"Hm... Maybe. I didn't see any..." Jade trailed off, glancing at the bag that held their food stuffs.

Tear wore a face of confusion, almost amazement. "Colonel? Did you eat... all of our tuna?"

Jade looked up at her with a smile. "Oh, surely not Tear! I would never do that! If I did that, I would be so full I wouldn't be able to move!"

Tear stared back at him for a moment, but Jade seemed determined to keep this story up. So she decided to just accept it. "Alright, I was just making sure. But why were you bent over the fire for so long?"

"Well, I was planning on some tuna stew but there seems to be a shortage of tuna... I was thinking about what to make instead." Jade replied smoothly.

"...Alright then, I'll leave you to your cooking then."

Jade nodded as she walked back to where Luke and Guy sat. He turned back to the fire, releasing a breath that he didn't even know he was holding. "Oh that was close..." he sighed, looking back at the remains of the tuna. Why did he have such and urge to eat it? Raw no less? Good thing that had passed now...


	2. Cats always land on their feet, right?

So I woke up this morning, bored and thinking 'Eh, maybe I should check my e-mail, I did update last night...' came on and found 9 e-mails in the inbox. Most of them saying 'So-and-so has favorited/added your story, Hey Look, A Cat! to their favorites/story alert!', and a couple of reviews. So I was happy and decided to write some more.

I don't own ToA, but I made up that Chesedonian Tiger Cat.

Read on!!

* * *

"Passage Ring~! Passage Ring~!" Anise sang a tune as they entered the Zao Ruins.

"That girl doesn't have an ounce of care in her body." Natalia crossed her arms.

"It's not that bad." Guy chuckled.

"Hey!" Anise ran back to them. "Don't just stand there! Let's go!"

The Zao Ruins weren't very much different from the last time they were here, other than some nice cracks in the ground and a broken step or a hundred, but they were still able to walk the same path that they did before to the passage ring. Nothing very unusual(and no cravings for tuna). Luckily, they only saw one earthquake... Or felt, what ever.

It was that evil little bridge that lead to the door that would lead them to said Passage Ring. As they stepped upon it, and earthquake shook the bridge.

"Ah! An earthquake!" Anise gasped.

"It doesn't feel like one..." Tear looked around.

"Let's hope this bridge is still here when we come back." Guy said.

"Don't say thing like that!" Anise jumped behind Guy, causing him to jump forward a few feet. "Let's hurry!"

"Such a lively group." Jade smiled and continued walking.

Luke gave him a look that clearly said 'Where did "lively" come from?' but decided to also continue walking as the earthquake stopped. "Let's hurry up and get this over with, I want to be able to get out of here."

T'was not fated to be so.... Of course not, this is mine, and the game storyline's fault.

As they stepped upon that little dirt plain in front of that door that I keep mentioning, a loud, monstrous roar met their ears. Like 'Raaaaaaaahrr!!!!'

"Ah! What is that!" Anise looked around, and Tear jumped back, gesturing everyone to follow.

"Watch out!" she yelled as a giant monster jumped from a small canyon in the ground before them. It seemed like a form of skeleton with a head on it's tail... Neck?

"Great! What the hell is this thing?" Luke unsheathed his sword, as did every one else-wait no, they all uh... Jade's arm isn't a sheath um... Took out their weapons! Luke was the first to charge at the skeletal beast, bring his sword down upon it's... non-head?... Front? As soon as he did, the monster spun around, knocking Luke to the ground.

"Luke, watch out!" Guy called as Luke rolled away from the monster before it could crush him.

"It's powerful, be careful." Tear said as she began to cast a healing arte.

I'm not going through the whole process of this battle, so we skip ahead a few minutes. Eventually, after many castings of Limited and Spark Wave, the monsters skeleton seemed to fall apart before their eyes, revealing it's true self. A large, scorpion type thing with a large... thing on the end of it's tail, maybe used for grabbing and or stabbing the enemy. It did have a real head, it turned out where Luke first struck was one of it's maniacal yellow eyes, intent on killing each and every one of them.

"Ew! That's disgusting!" Anise demonstrated her disgust by wearing a face of disgust, while the author thinks of more ways to include the word 'disgust' into the story.

"It's seems to have lost most of it's defense with that shell, I'll try an arte." Jade said as he began to cast an arte that was not fated to be cast, as the monster turned it's evil buggie eyes on said fonist. It charged, nearly running over Anise and Natalia in the process, unstopped by Luke and Guy's swords, and used it's... claw-tail-thing to grab Jade by the leg, throwing him up into the air.

"Colonel!" Every one watched-even the monster who was quickly knocked over by Luke because it was distracted- as Jade flew higher in the air, paused and began to fall to the ground.

"He'll never come out of that with both legs!" Guy exclaimed. "Can't you do something Tear?"

Before Tear could shake her head, she gasped, watching Jade as he flipped in the air, and landed perfectly on his feet. "How...?"

"Colonel! How did you do that?" Anise asked, running up to said Colonel.

"...I don't know." Jade glanced at his feet. He should be on the ground right now, instead, he was standing perfectly balanced on his toes. Quickly bringing his heels down again, he-once again-began to cast an arte. "But let's not worry about that at the moment, here it comes again!"

And so began-also once again-an epic battle that-wasn't-so-epic-but-the-author-wants-to-say-the-word-'epic'-battle with the scorpion beast. Before long, thanks to a couple of Blessed Drops, the monster finally fell to the might that was: The Jade Gang. It's body disappeared as it's fonons quickly left.

"What was that thing?" Natalia asked.

"I think I've seen it before, in a book in Yulia City. It was a monster from the Dawn Age, but I didn't think that it could live this long." Tear said. "Or that they were so violent."

"It may have been guarding the ruins." Guy suggested. "Maybe it was disturbed when the God-Generals came here."

"Maybe, but for now, why don't we continue to the Passage Ring?"Jade said, walking ahead.

"...That was strange. Not even the Colonel should have been able to land safely from that height." Natalia mused, walking next to Guy. Or at least near him.

"Yeah, but I guess that's juts another one of those weird things about Jade. What did he say a while ago?" Guy replied.

"Something about doing the impossible." Luke shrugged.

* * *

It was an excruciatingly long trip to the Passage Ring. The path went down dome, then turned, down some more, turned again, and so on. Anise was getting bored, and her legs were getting tired. "Oh, are we there yet?" she whined.

"Now now Anise, if you start whining, it'll only seem longer." Jade called from ahead, since nobody was bothering to try and catch up to him.

"Boo...." Anise puffed her cheeks out again, while Tear decided to catch up with Jade.

"Colonel?"

"Ah, hello Tear. How are you fe-eline?" Jade quickly covered his mouth with his hand, a small blush coming to his face.

"U-uh, Colonel?" Tear asked, also slightly red, she glanced over her should to see if any one head heard them. The rest of their group was staring at what was left of a strange, tar-like monster, meaning they most likely hadn't heard anything.

"Yes Tear?" Jade coughed, bringing his hand down, making up an excuse on the spot. "Sorry, there was er-something in my throat."

"Um, nothing, but-" Tear acted like she hadn't heard the word 'feline' come from Jade's mouth.

"Let me guess, this is about my little acrobatics act earlier?" Jade asked before Tear finished, she nodded. "Well, to put it simply, I don't have the slightest clue in how I managed that. I guess it just happened." he shrugged.

"Colonel, are you feeling okay?" Tear frowned.

"Hm? Me-ow!" Jade once again slapped a hand over his mouth, red spreading quickly over his face again. He coughed again. "Er-I don't-um-" he stuttered through his hand. Soon after, he began to cough more, though it seemed that these were real coughs, not excuses. Jade kept coughing, drawing the attention of the rest of the group.

"Is he okay?" Luke asked as jade began hacking, like he was trying to get something out of his throat...

"I apologize." Jade finally stopped coughing, quickly shoving his hand back in his pocket. "Maybe I have a small head cold, or something along those lines."

"Uh..." Guy didn't look like he was buying the story, but decided to at least go along with it, as did everyone else. "Okay, we have stuff for that, you know."

"Oh, but I wouldn't want to disturb Anise, since she's doing such a good job carrying the bag." Jade smiled.

"Hey!" Anise frowned, reaching into a side pocket of the bag that was indeed on her back, holding their items. "Here's your medicine!" she chucked the small bottle at Jade, who in turn put it in his pocket.

"Thank you, I'll take care to take it at the appropriate time." he teased, then continued walking, leaving the rest of the group in confused silence.

"Uh," Luke broke said silence. "What were you guys talking about anyway?" he turned to Tear.

"Er, nothing. I was just checking to see if he was okay." Tear said then walked away. "Let's go."

Jade sighed, closing his hand around the small white bottle of medicine he didn't really need. That was close, he wondered if anyone saw what he'd actually coughed up. This made him wonder how so much hair could have accumulated at the back of his throat. Suddenly, his thoughts wondered away to the Chesedonian Tiger Cat that Anise had seen in the Oasis... That cat... Was it really just a fonic arte set up by someone?

His mind find another possibility. No, he shook his head. Cat's can't do that, nor artes... Could they? Then what could explain these strange actions, all of which were similar to a cat's?


	3. He Purrs!

Okay let's see, first chapter, the cat and the tuna. Second chapter, being throw in the air and landing on feet, and the feline/meow thing... To the next event!

I skipped most of the important events in here, because then it would look serious, and I can't really remember well what happens. I just know they go to Daath next.

I don't own ToA.

Read on!!

* * *

It was a mission success! They were in the Qliphoph alright. No other place was shrouded in miasma, had mud for an ocean, and more miasma for clouds. It was time to head back to Chesedonia to speak with Noelle. This would take exactly one day(or less depending on how fast they traveled), and this meant that they would have to spend another night in the desert...

Said night was approaching fast, the clouds above them darkened as night fell, meaning that the sun was falling. By the time they had set up camp at the halfway point from Chesedonia and the Zao Ruins, the fire that they had set up was the only source of light. Where they got the woord, nobody knows. But what they did know, was that it was not Jade's turn to cook, instead, Tear would cook, for risk of Jade eating what was left of their tuna. She knew that he'd said that he hadn't, but there was just too much evidence pointing to it.

The camp was awkward. Jade would look up at the sky every once and a while, as if something was wrong. And everyone would check back to Jade if he was okay, not coughing and hacking, not-in Tear's case-saying anything that had to do with cats... So far, said Jade was doing just fine. He'd pretended to take the cold medicine that Anise chucked at him in the Zao Ruins, but really just hiding the pill in his pocket, along with a hairball that he'd coughed up as well.

Now, for the sake of this being a humor story, and the need to hurry up with this chapter, everyone finally managed to fall asleep under a blanket and a small pillow, both of which they acquired in Chesedonia.

The night had fallen fast, but the process of falling asleep was almost too long for anyone. Either from Tear's food keeping them awake, or the fact that Luke had fallen asleep first and started snoring, either way, since Anise's punching wasn't able to wake up the red head, they stayed up some late before finally rolling over and ignoring said snoring.

When Jade woke up in the morning-at what time, nobody knew-he was wondering in his groggy tiredness how he became to be so warm and comfy in the sand. He later found that-for some very strange reason-he had -in his sleep, may he remind you-curled up into a ball under his blanket. He could hear someone else lurking around the camp, maybe Tear, or Guy. Hearing this, his ear twitch. Why, he had no idea, but it was at this time that he chose to poke his head out of the blanket. It was Tear and Natalia over on the other side of the camp, preparing breakfast for themselves. Looking around, he saw that everyone was already awake... What? Usually he was the first awake-other than the night watch, why was he the last one up today? Must be the miasma.

Hm... He didn't want to get up, it was warm under this blanket, how ever thin it was. But he sat up anyway, the blanket falling off his head and piling on his lap.

"Oh Colonel, you're u-" Anise looked up from her sandwich and her jaw dropped, almost dropping the sandwich as well.

This sudden silence gained Guy's attention. He as well stared at Jade with a rather surprised look.

Jade cocked a brow. "What?" By now, everyone had turned to look at him with a surprised look. As he studied their silent faces, Anise raised a hand. "Ah, Colonel...?"

Jade then noticed that they weren't staring at him specifically, rather, something on his head...He also raised a hand to his head, and instead of finding a lock of hair, he found something else... Something furry. No, two somethings furry! "What the-"

"Oh my," Natalia covered her mouth. "Is-is the Colonel turning into a cat?"

Jade thought about this for a split second. This was not possible! You can't suddenly transform into a cat! Wait a second... That cat in the Oasis, could it be the cause of all this? Then Jade noticed something else, something that was making it very uncomfortable to sit down. He stood up quickly, looking over his shoulder, fearing the worst.

"Whoa!" Anise gasped as the second Jade stood up, something long and fuzzy uncurled itself from his leg. A tail. Jade had a tail. Jade has a tail? "The Colonel's got a tail!"

"Uh Jade? What's going on?" Guy and Luke asked.

Tear didn't say anything, she was thinking something along the lines of 'so furry...'

"I... have no idea. I didn't think it was possible for this to happen! But I do have an idea a to what's causing it..." Jade said absentmindedly, he found that he was able to control this tail of his, making it sway and curl before sitting down again, making sure not to sit on said tail, for it was actually painful to sit on one's tail.

"You mean, that cat from the Oasis?" Tear finally asked. Jade nodded.

"Possibly. But for now, we know nothing about it, so we shouldn't worry to much about it. We need to hurry back to Chesedonia."

"Yes, you're right." Natalia nodded, and everyone prepared to set off again.

"Wait!" Anise jumped up suddenly.

"Something wrong, Anise?" Jade asked. She turned to him.

"I want to try something." Anise replied, making Jade raise a brow again. Anise stepped to where Jade sat on the ground, and put her hand behind one of his er-new cat ears. It took him a second to realized that she was scratching the back of his ear, like she would any other normal cat.

"Anise, what are you-" Jade found himself unable to complete his question. Instead, there was a strange sound, like a deep rattling coming from the back of his throat, his ear attempting to flatten itself against his head uncontrollably so Anise's fingers could move more.

Anise giggled. "Aw, he's purring!"

This caused Jade's face to flush red, and he ducked away. "If you're quite finished now..." he stood up, Anise still giggling about him being embarrassed. This made everyone else start laughing. Twas time to head to Chesedonia, while Tear stared at a certain tail and cat ears the whole time, and Anise kept trying to jump up to Jade's height in a fruitless attempt to make him purr again. So instead she just settle for grabbing his tail before he could get it away.

* * *

Just when Luke thought something might actually go right for once, the group was whacked with more bad news. The Passage Rings and Sephiroth trees were not doing so well. According to Jade, they had reach maximum tolerance, and if they didn't do something fast, the rest of the outer lands would fall, and end up sinking into the mud and miasma.

Their solution(hopefully)? The Score. They hoped that the Score might be able to tell them if this was written. Ion being the Fon Master, they also hoped he would be able to help.

Jade also wanted to see if Ion knew anything about Chesedonian Tiger Cats, and if they had some ability to change a human into a cat as well...


	4. Dogs and Cats?

So, I had a little trouble deciding on how to start this chapter. Should I just go through the score reading? Or skip to some other part, making sure to mention what was important? I chose the latter because really, the important thing in this story is the main plot, which just happens to be Jade and his cat...ness, I couldn't remember what they said, so I kinda just flew over most things. But still, I got it done.

I don't own Tales of the Abyss.

Read on!!

* * *

To Jade's slight disappointment, as surprised as Ion was, the Fon Master had never seen-or read about- anything like Jade's er-strange case. A dead end. Actually two dead ends, the score was unable to help them with the problem with the passage rings. The only thing they learned was that the score was off track-another surprise-because of the birth of a replica-Luke. There were two Luke's now, and neither of them were dead.

Of course, they couldn't linger on the subject long, since three Oracle Knights barged into the cathedral, signaling that it was time to make a quick escape. But they were only to be stopped again by Mohs and more guards-oh, and Dist. Can't forget Dist now can we?

Now let's see what they're up to now...

* * *

As Jade had expected, Mohs had paused when he caught sight of the strange sight that was a certain Necromancer with a pair of cat ears and a tail, but he'd shaken his head and continued on. This gave Jade time to start casting an arte only to be stopped once again by Dist, who, like Mohs, was rather surprised.

"Don't resist Jade or-eh?" Dist stared. It looked as if some cat had somehow merged with Jade.

"What?" Jade turned to the Reaper. "Is it my ears? Quite beautiful aren't they if I do say so myself."

"Eh-Never mind that!" The gears in Dist's head stated moving. He'd have to look into this later. This little phenomenon may prove useful in the future... "If any of you resist at all, this woman dies!" he pointed to where his floating chair... floated above him with an unconscious Noelle. One of said Oracle knights took this time to point a sword at Jade's throat. His tail, which had just been swaying from side to side lightly, froze in place. "Heh, you look good like that Jade!" Dist laughed.

"I'm honored by your compliment." Jade replied.

"No one's complimenting you! Take them away." Dist ordered the guards.

To Luke's annoyance, these Oracle Knights took their sweet time getting to the port. With swords pointed at each of them, Mohs led them onto a ship, where they would sail to Baticul. But this took a rather long time-which eventually it even got on Mohs' nerves-because as I said before, the guards were taking their sweet time.

But eventually, they did get to the ship, and they all ended up in a small cabin, one bed next to the window, and a table in the center. They would arrive in Baticul tomorrow, which gave them time to-there's no other word for it-brood. In Luke's case, pace the room, in Tear's case, to cross her arms and see how long she could go with out blinking. In Guy's case, to stare at the ceiling, in Anise's case, to sit atop the table swinging her legs while petting Mieu. In Natalia's case, to also pace the room, though without the sighing that Luke felt he needed to include, and in Jade's case, to become suddenly incredibly tired, and yawn.

After a while, Guy finally decided that he'd seen enough of Jade sitting there with his hand over his mouth, he suggested that the Colonel take a nap, since they wouldn't arrive until tomorrow. Jade agreed, as did Tear and every one else as, as Luke quoted himself from earlier days, it wouldn't be nice if the man just keeled over on them.

Jade pulled the blanket over his body-it was becoming a strange habit to pull it up over his head as well- and curled up -another habit he found strange, blaming it on the cat transformation.

When he woke up (still curled up), the others were in the midst of a conversation-or in Tear's case, scolding Luke. His ears perked.

"You idiot. You're not in the score, so what? That means that you can live your own life, without anything telling you what's going to happen, or what to do." Tear said.

"...You're right. Thanks Tear." Luke said, and Jade's heard him sit down next to her. Jade wondered what time it was, suddenly a loud horn sounded through the ship. What ever time it was, they were soon to arrive in Baticul.

"Is Jade still sleeping?" Guy asked.

"I dunno..." he heard Anise's steps come closer. "Hey Colonel! Wake-" Suddenly all the warmth was gone, and so was the sound of Anise's voice.

"What, is something wrong?" Guy made his way over as Jade finally opened his eyes, slightly annoyed at the loss of warmth. He looked up at Anise and Guy behind her, and blinked.

Jade tilted his head to the side a bit, confused. Did Anise grow over the time he was sleeping?... Did _everything _grow in the time he was sleeping?! He tried to ask what was wrong, but all that came out of his mouth was a quiet, little... 'meow...?'

"What's was that?" Natalia asked, and she, Luke and Tear also appeared behind Anise. They were all staring at him, wide eyed. In fact, Jade himself, was staring at what had happened. Nothing had grown, if anything, he'd gotten smaller. No longer six feet tall, he wouldn't be surprised if he only stood about one foot tall, on four legs, that is. Why would he be standing on four legs? Well, you don't see a cat walking around on two everyday, do you? No longer with a uniform either, his entire body was covered in light brown fur, with little spots of darker fur, mostly around his hands-no _paws _(Life was going to be hard now, no thumbs...), the fur across his belly was nearly white. He was a cat-not a man with cat ears and a tail-a cat. A small, fluffy, cat.

"What the hell?!" Luke gasped.

"H-he's a...cat?" Anise knelt down to his level. Then Mieu floated down next to him, and Jade found that sitting down, he was maybe only a centimeter or two taller than the Cheagle.

"Hello Mieu." Jade said, though it only came out as another 'meow' to his still-human companions. "You're able to understand me, right?"

Mieu's eyes were wide and he grinned. "Yes! I can!"

"Uh, you can what?" Luke asked.

"Mieu can understand him, I'm guessing." Guy said. Mieu and Jade nodded. "Well this is uh..."

Tear was again, not saying anything. Since her soft spot for cute things seemed to now include Jade. There were thin rings of slightly darker fur around his eyes, which resembled a pair of glasses. And what surprised her, was that his eyes were still a sharp crimson (slit pupils included). If it wasn't the Colonel she was looking at, she would have loved to just pick up this cat and hug him...

Suddenly the door burst open, and three Oracle knights stood in the door way. "Come with us." They said. Everyone got up to leave, and Mieu jumped onto Luke's shoulder. Jade leaped off the bed last, in order to avoid being stepped on, and almost fell forward. Hm... It seemed that this walking on four legs thing would need some getting used to... In his thoughts, Jade heard the group leave the room, and ran to catch up, but as if the Oracle knight didn't even see him (which he probably didn't) the door slammed shut, and Jade almost ran straight into it as well.

"Damn it..." he muttered (in cat language, remember?) What was he supposed to do now? Hm... He looked down at his paws... he had an idea...

* * *

A guard walk silently next to his partner, along the small hallway of the boat, having just arrived in Baticul, they were supposed to check for either lost items or stranglers. Though, what boat carrying prisoners would have either, they didn't know. Suddenly, they could hear a strange scratching sound.

"What's that sound?" One guard asked.

"I don't know... It's coming from in here..." the other paused next to one of the cabins where indeed, the strange noise was coming from. "...On three?"

"Sure." the guard readied his sword, you know, just in case.

"...Three!" Both guards faced an empty room, unaware of something small brown and furry streaking past them. "...What the hell? There's nothing here."

"That noise is gone too. Do... do you think it was a ghost?"

"...I don't know. Let's just get out of here..." Neither guard saw the deep scratch marks in the inside of the wooden door as they shut it again. "Weird..."

* * *

"Okay... Let's see here..." Jade wondered the crowded port of Baticul. But there was no clues as to where his friends were. But his guess would be that they were at the palace. No one payed any attention as he hopped onto an aircar, sitting in the corner silently, waiting to arrive. Jade found himself licking his paws as he sat, or as one might say, grooming himself. Great. Another cat thing. Wait, he was a cat, so why worry anymore?

Jade looked around as he arrived in the main square of Baticul. Hm.. There were two elevators... But crap, one, he was a cat, and two, both were guarded, so no one was getting on or off. Well this was great, what was he supposed to do now. He sighed, sitting down again to think.

Suddenly he saw a familiar face. Asch. Asch was in Baticul, hm? And he was headed to the palace, perfect! He ran after the red head boy, momentarily forgetting that he was a cat, and trying to call his name. Instead, all that came out was a strange, high, 'meow!' that sounded strangely like 'Asch!'.

Asch paused, hearing said meow, and turned around. He looked around, but saw no person coming to him, instead, there was a small brown cat standing in front of him. He frowned, this cat had red eyes... Red eyes? What was stranger was the fact that this cat looked like it was _smiling_. A smiling cat with red eyes... What the hell? Was someone playing some sort of joke on him?

"I don't know what happened, and I won't ask." Asch said, hoping that his hunch was correct. "But I wouldn't try getting up to the palace. They're most likely going to head for Belkend through the Inista Marsh, I'd wait for them there... You are Jade, right?" he almost sighed in relief and confusion when the cat nodded. "I don't even want to know how this happened. But I doubt you even know yourself." Jade shook his head. "Well, good luck getting to Belkend." Jade nodded, then turned back to the port. "..." Asch sighed as he headed for the elevator. "I don't even want to know..."

* * *

"Now... A ship to Belkend..." Jade wandered through the port. There was a ship to Chesedonia, and to Daath... Aha! The ship to Belkend was almost ready to set sail. As Jade turned in it's direction, he became aware of a strange feeling, like he was being watched.... To try and shake this feeling off, he started running to the ship, hoping nobody would try to stop him from jumping on.

He skidded to a halt as something jumped in his way. A dog. Oh great. Said dog started barking loudly at Jade. He didn't get what it was saying, but it was something along the lines of 'you darned cats' and 'I'm going to show you who's boss'... What did Jade ever do to deserve this? He didn't know. There must be some sort of rivalry between cats and dogs here...

"I don't have time for this!" Jade said as he watched people finish boarding the ship to Belkend, which meant he had to hurry if he wanted to get to Belkend in the next few days. He couldn't run around this brute of an animal so...

Jade ran past the dog, it's yelp of pain loud in his ears as it buried it's nose in it's paws. 'Serves you right..." Jade thought. Great, now there was some blood on his paw... He'd have to get that off later. And... Jump!!

he jumped onto the ship just in time, arriving on the deck shortly after. He sighed. Oh this was going to be one hell of a day... Only noon and already in a fight with a dog. He watched from his spot on the deck as said dog ran to the edge of the dock barking, something along the lines of 'Oh you're gonna get it now! Next time I see you, it's go time!! Coward!'

Jeez, he didn't envy who ever owned that thing. Jade turned away from the dog that was still barking threats, and began licking his paw clean. He only hoped that these habits wouldn't stay with him once he was human again...


	5. Thirtyfive year old Kitten

There was a gigantic thunderstorm going on outside while I was writing pat of this, so naturally, many breaks were taken to see the buckets of rain that were pouring onto the street.

So, I've started writing again! I'm also writing Asch's Revenge's second chapter so look forward to that! So, last time, Jade…spoke to Asch and then made his way to Belkend, right? Yes, so let's continue…

I don't own ToA.

Read on!

* * *

When you run to Belkend from the port, that's not too bad. It's not that far away, there's a nice breeze coming from the shoreline… Then again, while you're being chased by a horde of monsters that think you'd make a tasty snack, the whole experience just goes down hill.

Jade was panting by the time he finally lost said horde of monsters and arrived in the city of Belkend, wanting only to lie in the shade for a bit… It would have been SO much easier if he hadn't been momentarily distracted by those god awful birds… Oh, the shade…. But then again, the ground was very dirty, he didn't want to mess up his fur, which would just defeat the entire purpose of grooming himself the entire time he was on the ship. Damn cat…ness…

Jade decided only to _sit_ on the ground, in the shade outside of the inn, since there would be nothing else more productive to do until his friends arrived (if they arrived, he didn't know if he could really trust Asch all that well…). Maybe he should find some food…

"You new here?"

Jade lifted his head from his paws (damn, no thumbs). There was another cat standing in front of him, a white cat with a blue bell attached to a collar around its neck… Her neck.

"Hm, you could say that." Jade glanced around. What a strange sight it would be, seeing two cats carrying on a conversation. Then again, nobody could understand them, so, what the heck.

"Where'd ya come from?" the other cat asked, sitting opposite him.

"Let's see… I was in Grand Chokmah, do you know where that is? Oh well, it's on the other side of the world. Then I was in Chesedonia-"

"That I know,"

"Then Daath, and Baticul,"

"You really get around, don't you?"

"Yes, I guess I do…" Jade smiled as any cat would.

The cat stared at him for a moment. "Why do you have red eyes? Were you born with them?"

Jade hesitated. "Sure, I guess so… never really cared as to why they're red." This cat would never be able to follow an explanation of fonic sight.

"Wait a minute, that would mean you're still like, a kitten!" she laughed.

"…So? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. So what if my eyes haven't changed colour?" Jeez, the nerve of this cat! He was no kitten! He was a 35 year old man!...cat…

"Which is ever stranger, because even if your eyes haven't changed color yet, it's still weird to be born with red eyes…" she stood up and turned around. "Well, see ya. I'm at the end of the street if you get lonely… Where are your owners, by the way? You don't have a collar." She asked, gesturing with a white paw to her own.

"I don't have any owners," Jade said simply.

"Wow, and you're still alive? Wow…" And she walked away.

Only when she rounded to corner did it occur to Jade that he never asked where he might find some food, Lorelei knew when the last time he ate was…

Great, now he had to wait for Anise to come. She'd have food… Or maybe Tear, she had a soft spot for cute things…

…Did he just call himself cute?

* * *

Jade was napping (outside of the inn, still, the innkeeper was nice, having noticed him out here, giving him some tuna… Oh, tuna…). When he lifted his head, his ears perked up, he smiled as he saw the group of people that were Luke, Guy, Anise, Tear and Natalia. There clothes were wet and torn in some places and they looked absolutely exhausted. Jeez, they must have gone through Inista Marsh, and maybe run into that… Thing. What ever that monster was that was trapped in there. He jumped up, waiting for them to pass before falling into step next to Anise.

They all wore worried faces, and Jade would have said something if he didn't hear their conversation.

"Maybe he's still in Baticul," Luke said.

"Or maybe he got left behind on the ship!" Natalia gasped.

"Oh, how could we leave him behind? The poor Colonel!" Anise said sadly. Jade wondered when they'd notice him…

As the group came upon the Fon machine Lab 1, Oracle Knights surrounded them. Great, Jade thought, how nice of them to catch up with us…

"Commander Asch!" One said. "Van wants you in his office!"

They thought Luke was Asch! Hm, this would be interesting… Although, it would not be interesting for Jade, as it would not be the best time to show up in Van's office as a cat. "Hm… I'll just wait at the inn…"

And so, on his way to the inn, Jade was not surprised to see Asch jogging up the path. He cast Jade a quick, confused, glance before shaking his head and continuing on to the lab. He sat on the front steps for a good thirty minutes, the sun beating on his back, before Asch returned once again. Jade finally took the time to notice a large, aged book in his hands.

"How long have you been here, anyway?" Asch asked before stepping inside. Jade only shrugged and decided to follow the redhead into the air conditioned inn.

"Ion gave me this to give to… you, but I'm not sure what use it will have, since…" Asch trailed off and set the book onto the table with a heavy thud. "Did this happen after you went to Daath? I don't think Ion knows about this."

Jade nodded. He flipped the cover open and flipped through the first few pages. It was a history of the Dawn Age.

Suddenly, he had an idea. Asch's face twisted in confusion as Jade started-tried- to make words in the air. He wanted a pen and paper, damn it! Asch wasn't getting it. He huffed, imitating writing on a desk.

"You have no thumbs, how the hell are you supposed to write anything?" Asch demanded. He completely ignored the strange looks he was attracting from the inn keeper. "You know what, never mind."

What reason Asch had pen and paper in his pocket for, Jade would never know. But what he did know –and now he could sympathize with thumb less beings for this- was that it was HARD to write with no thumbs. He was forced to hold the pen in both paws do even get his now-very-messy-writing onto the crumpled paper.

"What? How am I supposed to know what they're doing? I told them to meet me here!" Asch said in his usual tone, answering Jade's question. Thus, an argument started between a cat and an Oracle soldier.

Unknown to them, the subject of the argument had entered the building. "Hey, what's Asch doing?" Anise pointed and giggled.

"Hm…" Natalia had a confused look on her face, Asch back was turned to them, so they couldn't see what he was doing.

"No! And I don't care either! Ion asked me to come- Don't give me that look! Why am I arguing with you?"

Anise jumped beside him. "Asch, you silly, what are- Colonel?"

"The Colonel?"

"He's here?"

"Jade's here?"

Suddenly, a very annoyed Asch was surrounded by a bunch of overly happy people, and Jade was slowly running out of air due to Anise's hugging.

"Oh, I knew you weren't dead!" she exclaimed. After a moment, she realized that it was not any cat that she was hugging to death, it was Jade. She quickly set him back onto the table, red faced as she smoothed his ruffled fur. "You are alright, right?"

He nodded.

"That's great! Oh, when you weren't with us when we reach the marsh, we were all so worried!"

"Yeah," Guy chuckled. "We thought we left you on the ship or something- oh, we did? Eheh, sorry about that?" He scratched the back of his head at the look Jade shot him.

"Think of it this way!" Luke started. "You didn't have to face that giant monster with us, and I'm pretty sure someone would have had to carry you through, the marsh water was kinda deep in some places… I think Tear would have been up to it, you like cute and furry things, right Tear?" he turned to Tear, who was blushing.

"You do realize that you just called the Colonel cute, right Luke?" Anise gave him a sly look.

"Eh- well- in a good way!"

"If you're done being an idiot." Asch interrupted. "Ion asked me to bring this to you guys. It's a forbidden text, he thinks it will help you. It's a history of the planet storm, it should help you to figure out a plan to keep it going while closing the sephiroth."

Now Jade had the chance to show all of his friends what horrible writers cats were. _I'll read it tonight. _

This is what led to Luke waking up in the middle of the night and coming face to face to the perfect horror scene. What's it like to have a pair of big red eyes staring right at you, presumably asking for tuna?


End file.
